Reflection and Pursuits of Happiness

I sit in a quiet and empty house as daylight fades and night envelopes my surroundings.  I turn a a couple of lights, but I hate the light and all the things that it brings.  At times the light brings into view things that you don't like to see.  Even on a sunny day I will at times sit alone with the shades drawn trying to hide from the outside world.  As I sit, I put on some music, something atmospheric, something unlike todays music which is a collection of unlistenable vocalizations and beats.  There is no longer musicianship, so I put on something from my childhood or days when music was music.  I guess I am an old fuddy-duddy as I curse todays popular music.

I often times get off track, as I move from thought to thought.  Somedays I drift from thought to thought and chastise myself for getting nothing done that the real world would consider productive.  I guess my motivations are not what they used to be, as I approach the second half of my life I look back and wish I would have pursued more creative endeavors.  Maybe if I would have stuck with the arts or really learned to play guitar....not sure if I would have been successful but maybe I would have been happier.

What is this thing that people call happiness anyway?  I know it is subjective but it seems like we are always pursuing it.  I have never been able to catch up to it and hold it continuously only for fleeting moments.  I guess maybe that is why we chase it, we get a taste of it and we want more.  Now that is something that should motivate me.

Here I am having a re-listening of the Alan Parsons Project album I Robot, in a quiet house contemplating life, I will let you know if I have any revelations soon.  

As I sit here contemplating the world and everything in it, I realize that the next 18 months are going to be tough with my entry into this Masters degree program and trying to juggle demands at work, my kids and my girlfriend.  

They say that nothing worth doing is easy.  In the end I think although the next year will be challenging, in the end I have this gut feeling is going to be rewarding.

Tough Time at Work

Today I had to lay off an employee that just transferred to my area 3 weeks ago. The sad thing is I agreed to take them on in order to help secure their job. I guess in the end all that is going on in my company and the industry I am in couldn't save their job. In the end I had the tough job of calling them into my office and letting them go. It is something I have not had to do in several years. I guess I have been blessed by a great team and we have weathered the storms in the past. I just hope we can keep weathering the storm.

This all comes down to our struggling economy and the ineffective leadership we have in our government. I blame both sides of the aisle. I hear all the "good news" about how the economy is starting to see signs of life, I have not really seen it yet. We will see what happens in the next quarter.

Starting School Again

As the kids go back to school, I have embarked on getting my Masters degree. I am taking an online course through Lamar University. So far it has been difficult to gauge how much time I need to spend and should spend on my studies. It seems like things are so busy with work that I have to balance work, school, family, girlfriend and my mental and physical health.

If you have any tips let me know.

Sanibel, Florida

I met Robin at the Fort Lauderdale airport and after spending the night in Boca Raton we headed west driving across the state to Sanibel Island. I must say it was nice to disconnect from work and just "be". We just relaxed, hanging out at the beach, picking up shells and relaxing. We rented a kayak and paddled around the mangrove swamps on the east side of the island. I need to do this more often.

I guess this means Robin and I are getting serious. It has been an incredible journey so far and I wouldn't change any moment I have had in the last year with her.

Drivers Education

The twins turned 15 and now we are embracing on the great adventure of learning to drive. I have signed up to be their instructor. I guess I am a glutton for punishment. I guess I will keep you up to date on how things progress. I keep telling myself I have trained thousands of adults how hard could this be. Then I realize they are my sons and at some point they will have a few thousand pounds of metal in their grasp. Pray for me : )

The Month of Birthdays

I have gotten through what I am calling the month of birthdays. My daughter's is on the first, my twins' are on the 14th, Robin's is on the 21st and I just found out her son's is on the 28th. Hey they are all multiples of 7, that has to be a good omen.