Monday, March 16, 2015

Reflection and Pursuits of Happiness

I sit in a quiet and empty house as daylight fades and night envelopes my surroundings.  I turn a a couple of lights, but I hate the light and all the things that it brings.  At times the light brings into view things that you don't like to see.  Even on a sunny day I will at times sit alone with the shades drawn trying to hide from the outside world.  As I sit, I put on some music, something atmospheric, something unlike todays music which is a collection of unlistenable vocalizations and beats.  There is no longer musicianship, so I put on something from my childhood or days when music was music.  I guess I am an old fuddy-duddy as I curse todays popular music.

I often times get off track, as I move from thought to thought.  Somedays I drift from thought to thought and chastise myself for getting nothing done that the real world would consider productive.  I guess my motivations are not what they used to be, as I approach the second half of my life I look back and wish I would have pursued more creative endeavors.  Maybe if I would have stuck with the arts or really learned to play guitar....not sure if I would have been successful but maybe I would have been happier.

What is this thing that people call happiness anyway?  I know it is subjective but it seems like we are always pursuing it.  I have never been able to catch up to it and hold it continuously only for fleeting moments.  I guess maybe that is why we chase it, we get a taste of it and we want more.  Now that is something that should motivate me.

Here I am having a re-listening of the Alan Parsons Project album I Robot, in a quiet house contemplating life, I will let you know if I have any revelations soon.